Camcorder
by Dreamerdragon
Summary: What happens when two mischievous Hobbits find an object from another world? Yes, there is out of character, but please give it a chance.
1. Merry and Pippin

**Please, forgive the dumbness of this fanfic. ;)**

**Once again, I don't own Lord of the Rings. If I did; it would have been horrible.**

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"What do you suppose it is, Pip?" Merry asked, looking down at the small strange box with the odd mirror thing on it.

"Dunno." Pippin reached for it.

"Wait!"

"What?"

"You don't know what it does."

"Now, Merry, has that ever stopped us before?"

Merry shrugged in agreement. Not knowing what something did _had_ never stopped them before, and Gandalf had often harped about that very point. Besides, he was curious. Now what was it that people often said about curiosity…? That it has cats? No, that didn't sound right… But there was definitely something about cats in it.

Pippin lifted the box up. It had a small sideways door. After fighting with the door for a moment or two, he got it open. Inside was Merry and some trees. "Merry!" he gasped.

"What?"

"There's another you!"

Merry looked around. "Where?"

"In here. In this box."

"Let me see." Merry moved to Pippin's side. As he did so, the Merry in the box moved as well, and disappeared. "I don't see me."

"The other you moved when you moved."

"Pippin, how many times do I have to tell you not to lie. It's getting tiresome."

"I'm not lying. Move back over there and I'll prove it."

"Fine." Merry moved back to the place where he was, and Pippin lifted the box. Once again the other Merry was there, so Pippin turned it so the original Merry could see. "Pippin! Your head is in there."

"It is?" Pippin turned the box and once more Merry was in it.

"Yes, but I don't see how it could fit…"

"Merry you are the only one in there."

"I'm telling you, your head was just in there."

"Hmm. I'm not seeing it.

"Perhaps we see different things. It may be magic."

"Gandalf could tell us."

"Then lets go!"

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**Reviews make Merry and Pippin happy. The rest of the Fellowship, not so much. ;P It also makes the author very happy. :D**


	2. Gimli

Gimli readied his ax, prepared to smite the next Hobbit who asked him another stupid question. Why Gandalf deemed the stupid object as non-magical and safe, was beyond him. If Gandalf had just lied and said it was dangerous, they would have been rid of it and perhaps already to Mordor.

"Gimli," a voiced hissed, snapping him out of his thoughts. It was Aragorn. "Gimli, we are in no danger."

"Define danger," he grunted. "And who."

Aragorn nodded understandingly. "Well, killing them will be of no help."

"In who's book?"

"So, Gimli, tell us how long it took to grow that beard." Merry appeared, holding the camcorder in such a way only Gimli's beard was in the shot.

"No," he growled.

"Did it take most of your life?"

That was the last straw. Gimli roared and ran after Merry, and Pippin: treeing them. Merry smiled and kept Gimli in the shot. "Show us more anger, Gimli!"

"Come down here you, young rascals, and I'll show you more anger!"

"Gimli, please. Calm yourself." Aragorn pleaded. He took hold of Gimli's arm, but only succeeded in nearly getting his arm lopped off.

"If you won't come down," he shouted toward the tree. "Then I'll come up!"

With his first attempt, he made a running start and ran a few feet up the tree, but his foot slipped causing him to fall and face plant on the ground. Pippin was laughing so hard he almost fell. Thus, Gimli decided to try again.

With this attempt, he charged, jumped, and slammed his ax lengthways in the truck. Failure. It took Boromir and Aragorn both to dislodge it. Gimli paced for a while before resolving to just cutting it down.

He was about halfway through when an arm wrapped around Frodo's shoulders. He jumped and standing there was Merry. "What- how?" he looked between Merry and the tree.

"Do you think we should tell him we're down already?" Merry grinned.

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**Poor Gimli. *evil laugh* Will he get revenge?**


	3. Legolas

**To whoever loves Legolas' hair: I'm sorry! *hides***

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Legolas couldn't believe his luck. There he was, brushing his hair (he was on stroke four hundred and ninety-seven to be exact) when suddenly, Pippin appeared out of a bush, (or maybe he was the bush). He started attacking him with questions about what kind of shampoo he used and where he had been hiding that surprisingly large mirror and what those glowing things attached to it were.

Once they got back to camp, Pippin blabbed what he saw, and when no one would believe him, he whipped out the evidence (the camcorder) and proceeded to humiliate an Elf everyone thought couldn't be embarrassed.

"See, right there! He's counting."

The Legolas in the window was on four hundred and eighty-eight.

"Good heavens, Legolas. How many times _do_ you brush your hair in the morning?" Aragorn was staring dumbfounded at the now blushing Elf. "And here I thought you were out scouting."

"I do go scouting. I just go _after_ I'm finished."

"For what? Five minutes?" Gimli roared falling off the log he was sitting on.

"How many times do you brush your hair?" Aragorn repeated, self-consciously running a hand through his own. How long had it been since a brush touched his mop? Answer: far too long.

"Five-hundred." the Elf mumbled.

Gimli's legs kicked harder, Sam bit on his sleeve to keep quiet, and Gandalf simply leaned on his staff unable to believe the conversation that was going down. What did he do to deserve this?

"How long as this been going on?" Aragorn was genuinely concerned.

"All my life."

"Well, friend, we are going to intervene."

"Huh?"

"We are going to do an intervention."

"What's that?" Pippin sat up.

"In other words: we are going to take his hair brush, break his strangely large mirror that he has managed to keep hidden until now, and get rid of his soaps."

"NOOO!" Legolas screamed, rushing forward to protect his precious items but Aragorn held him back.

"Pippin, take Boromir and Gimli to where Legolas' mirror is."

"NOOO!" Legolas wailed, sliding to his knees.

"Okeydokey." he led the said men to the hiding place.

"Wow. How _did_ he hide that?" Boromir stared at the mirror. "And what are those lights?"

"I asked him the same thing." Pippin informed.

Gimli only scoffed. "Elves. We Dwarves don't use soaps."

"That's obvious." Boromir mumbled.

"I think we know what we have to do." Gimli hurled his ax at the mirror, but when it hit it only bounced off. "What-?"

"It's of Elvish make what did you expect?" Legolas and Aragorn bound from the trees stood before them. "No Dwarfish junk could ever hope to scratch it."

"I… tried to… stop him." Aragorn panted.

"You take that back Elf!"

"No."

"Take it back!"

"Make me."

"Now!" Gimli pounced; knocking Legolas down, and began lopping off his hair with a knife from his own belt.

"No! Not the hair! Anything but the hair!"

Pippin stood close to a nearby tree filming the mayhem. Proud that he could help a friend with his hair obsession.

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***peeks out from hiding place* Review?**


	4. Sam

"Alrighty, Sam, here's what we're-" Merry panned from Sam's frying pan to Sam's face.

"Absolutely not! Now, get that thing away before I smash it over your head."

"Such violence."

Sam gave his friend such a stare that would have caused milk to curdle. "Go."

"All right. All right."

"We are still on day four of 'Operation Sam'. We are no closer to catching him doing anything interesting like Gimli and Legolas did. Right, Pippin? Pippin?" Merry turned to find his friend sawing z's beside him. "Pippin, this is no time for sleeping!"

"I've a root in my back." Pippin mumbled and turned over.

"That's why you don't sleep under a bush."

Merry got up and closed the camcorder, giving Pippin a kick in the butt for good measure. He found a spot next to Legolas (who had been wearing a hood just to avoid more humiliation), and sat. Legolas was also crushed because Aragorn finally found how to break his mirror. Who would have thought a high enough cliff would have done it?

He turned his attention to Sam, who was cooking bacon and tomatoes. Did Sam really not do anything interesting? Did all he do was cook? Seriously, Sam was some kind of boring.

After the food was served and eaten, Sam announced that he was going to turn in for the evening. Gandalf puffed on his pipe and blew smoke animals into the air. They danced and played with one another, and jumped through the smoke rings Merry and Pippin were sending up.

Merry eventually got up to get a drink. He was almost to the creek, when movement caught his eye. Someone was down there spinning around. As he got closer he realized it was Sam, and he was dancing with… a blanket?

"My dear, Rosie, how I love you. How I wish I could tell you how I really felt." Sam continued to sashay around. He kissed the blanket, then hugged it.

Merry rubbed his eyes. What he really seeing this? Yep. He sure was. He grinned and went back for the camcorder. When he got back, he had Pippin with him.

"We should tease him." Pippin giggled.

"Wait, wait. Let me get a few more moments."

Sam noticed a familiar red light in the tree. He stopped dancing and dropped the blanket in horror. "Merry? Pippin?"

Giggling.

He started marching toward them. He was going to kill them. He was going to _kill _them.

"You're not supposed to drop a lady!" came Pippin's voice.

Death. Destroy. Kill.

"Kiss it again." Merry yelled.

Nothing was going to be left. _Nothing_. Absolutely _nothing_.

The other two started running toward camp. That would not help them. Once Sam entered the camp, he didn't hear or see anything other than the camcorder and it smashing. He wrestled it from Merry's hands and threw it against a tree. It broke into several different large pieces.

The rest of the Fellowship (minus Merry and Pippin, of course) breathed a sigh of relief. However, once Merry messed with the broken pieces long enough, his declaration caused them great pain.

"It still works!"

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**Thank you for the reviews! Merry and Pippin are happy!**


	5. Boromir

**Sorry it took so long for the update. Hope you like. This story is kinda random and pointless. It has come to my attention that the grammer and such of this story could be better. . . sorry.**

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"Hey, Boromir." Pippin smiled innocently from behind the camcorder.

"Yes?"

"How Gondorians does it take to sit in a throne?"

Boromir rolled his eyes. "I have no idea. How many?"

"None, because Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king."

"Pippin, if you are going to tell a joke, at least make it funny."

"Maybe you just don't have a sense of humor."

One sword strike is all that would be needed. Just one. No one would complain. No one at all. Whilst Boromir contemplated his chances, Pippin had already put the camcorder down.

"Boromir?"

"Yes?"

"What are you frowning like that?"

"I'm contemplating."

"About what?"

"About what I should do."

"Continue."

"Killing."

"Killing what?" Pippin reached over to grab the camcorder.

"Touch that thing, and I shall put my plan into action."

It took a second to dawn on Pippin. Well, he would just have to see how far he could push… As his hand inched toward the camcorder, Boromir's hand inched toward his sword… Pippin snatched the camcorder and ran. Boromir drew his sword and marched after him.

"Need any help?" Gimli offered.

"I have this under control." The Gondorian man went right to cut off his Hobbit friend.

When they crossed paths, Pippin squeaked and ran the other way. He was darting between trees, when suddenly a hand grabbed him, and pulled down. Fearing it was somehow Boromir, he lashed out with the only thing in his hand: the camcorder. (It must be glued down)

"Pippin, calm down! It's me." Merry sighed.

"Oh, thank the stars. I thought that you were-"

Boromir appeared. "There you are." (That was fast. He must have a GPS attached to each Hobbit. That would explain a lot…)

Merry stood between him and Pippin. "I won't let you have him."

The man sighed. "I don't want him. I just want the stupid box. I just want to destroy it."

"It wasn't destroyed when Sam threw it against the tree, so what makes you think you can do it?"

"He didn't do it right."

"I beg to differ!" Sam was now standing with them.

"How did you get here?"

"I have no idea. One minute I'm talking with Mr. Frodo and the next…"

"The writer must be distracted." Pippin remarked.

"Must be." the others agreed.

A purple elephant walked out of the trees.

"This has nothing to do with our story. " Boromir growled. "Hey! What is going on up there?"

The elephant disappeared in a puff of lovely green smoke.

"Thank you. Now, where were we?"

"I believe you had just insulted me." Sam answered.

"Right."

"I did throw it right! It isn't my fault if it's magic and won't break."

"Well, it did break; I just put it back together." Merry interrupted.

Sam was on a roll. "I mean, seriously! If Gandalf hadn't deemed it safe, we wouldn't be in this mess! Better yet if you two hadn't _found it_, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"Sure blame us. It isn't our fault it was written in." Merry snapped. "And that we're curious."

Sam turned on his heel to face Merry. "Haven't you ever heard what curiosity did to the cat!? It killed it! It killed IT! And now it's going to kill all of us by driving us mad!"

Boromir slowly backed away from the arguing Hobbits to stand by Pippin, who was recording the argument. "Pippin, what are you-"

"Shh, I want to watch Sam flip out again."

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**Review? Please?**


	6. Frodo

**I'm so sorry that it took so long for an update. Hope I didn't lose any of you. :) Well, this chapter takes an odd turn, but I hope you like it.**

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"Can I see it?" Merry stared expectantly at Frodo.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

Merry, of course, was referring to the One Ring. He had been bugging Frodo since day one to see it. Of course he had seen it many times, but he still couldn't help but beg. So, Frodo got up, mumbling about going for a walk. Merry, to no one's surprise, followed him.

They had only be walking for about ten minutes, when Merry suddenly grabbed his arm. "Frodo."

"I swear if this is about the Ring again-"

"I just want to see it."

"You've seen it ten thousand times! Do you want for it to be engraved in your mind for all time?"

"I would like that, yes."

Frodo growled and tried to turn to walk away, but Merry still had a death grip on his arm. "Merry?"

"I just want to see it!" he knocked Frodo down and sat on him, trying to grab the gold chain the Ring was on. "Let. Me. See. It."

"You've gone mad! Help!"

They fought for several long moments, Merry having the upper hand, when a figure charged up and dragged him off.

"MY PRECIOUS!" it yelled.

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Sméagol?" Frodo looked blankly at the creature.

"MY PRECIOUS!" he howled. He jumped onto Frodo trying to snatch away the Ring. "GIVE ME MY PRECIOUS!"

"No. First of all, you're not supposed to appear until the second movie. And secondly: this isn't the movies. This is a fan fiction. Only a few select are supposed to be here, namely the Fellowship. Which if I seem to recall correctly, you were not invited to join or even there when it was formed. Now that I think about it, I don't even remember it being formed."

Sméagol raised an eyebrow and glanced at Merry. "Precious?"

He shrugged. "Dunno."

The little creature caught sight of the camcorder. "Precious?" he pointed.

Frodo seized it. "You want it?"

"Uh, Frodo, what are you doing?"

Sméagol jumped up and down. "We'll takes it. Holds us until we gets Precious!" He expression hardened. "No! We wants Precious, now. Saves us lots of having to travel with Stupid fat Hobbit!" he softened again. "We musts. We musts waits." his face went cold again. "If we waits we dies in fires at end of third movies." he hung his head. "Rights, rights, Sméagol forgots. Bagginses, we must takes the Precious now." he held out his hand.

Frodo glanced from Sméagol to Merry and chucked the camcorder into the trees. Merry opened and closed his mouth like a fish. Sméagol looked between the Ring and the camcorder, like a dog not sure who to go to. Finally, he charged for the camcorder, angry side shouting insults as he went.

Merry shrieked and chased after him. "Don't you lay a finger on that!"

"Too lates! Sméagol hases it!" the kinder side laughed.

"Frodo! I'll get you for this!"

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**Please reviews. Reviews makes us happies. -Smeagol/Gollum**


	7. Gandalf

**Second to last chapter. All right, all right. Quit cheering, please. I got the point. **XD

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Merry snuck over to where Gandalf was sleeping. He jumped when he saw Gandalf's eyes were open, but he had to remember he slept like that. He snatched the staff lying on the ground and fled for the trees. He came to the place he was supposed to meet Pippin, but of course, Pippin wasn't there.

"Pippin, where are you?"

He finally showed up after about half an hour. "Am I late?"

"Slightly. I've been waiting. Where were you?"

"Apple tree," Pippin thrust his thumb over his shoulder. "Do you have Gandalf's staff?"

"Yes, now we need to hurry."

Pippin shrugged as Merry lifted the staff. He tried several times to cast magic, but nothing happened. Finally, the younger Hobbit took it and shook it.

"Pippin! What are you doing?"

"I saw Gandalf do it once."

_BOOM!_

Both Hobbits coughed and sputtered. Merry patted out the small fire that was on shirt. "Well, that worked perfectly."

"That didn't happen when- Ow!" A hand grabbed one of Pippin's ears.

"I might have known." It was Gandalf. He reached out and caught hold of Merry's ear. "How many times does this make now?" He began leading them back to camp. "Messing with an old wizard's staff is a very _bad_," he tugged on their ears. "Idea."

Merry scratched behind his ear whilst Gandalf decided what to do with them. The old wizard sat smoking his pipe across the fire from the Hobbits. After about forty-seven smoke rings and smoke doodads he finally spoke.

"Since this time, there are no dishes to do… but I have something that might be better."

The Hobbits looked at one another grimacing. Merry jumped up. "It was Pippin! He's the one who shook it!"

"Wait a minute!" Pippin jumped up as well. "You're the one who stole it!"

"If you hadn't shaken it, he wouldn't have known!"

"If you wouldn't have stolen it… he wouldn't have known."

"Great logic." Merry clapped.

He smiled triumphantly, before it faded away. "Hey!"

Gandalf rolled his eyes and grabbed each one's ear. "Come with me." He walked them to a creek and stopped.

"Gandalf?" Pippin squeaked.

"Yes?"

"You're not going to drown us are you?"

"Oh no, no, no. Much better." He pointed and they noticed Aragorn dropping a pile of clothes by the water. They gasped.

"No! Please, Gandalf, don't!" Merry pleaded.

He grinned, handed each of them a brush, and left. He sat chatting with Aragorn and Frodo, when Sméagol flashed by being chased by Merry and Pippin. "Give us our box back!" one shouted.

"Sméagol's precious! Sméagol's second precious! Hahaha!"

Gandalf rolled his eyes, pretending he saw nothing.


	8. Aragorn

**This is the final chapter of Camcorder. Please. Please. Let's not sound sad or anything… Jeez…**

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Merry watched the red light die out as Pippin filmed Gimli's rage. Pippin watched the image die on his end. He bopped the camcorder, but nothing happened.

"Merry, I think something's wrong."

"I noticed." he took it from his cousin, and tried to turn it back on. He turned it around and around, then knocked it against the tree a few times. "I think it… died."

"What?"

Aragorn who was at the base of the tree jumped up in disbelief. "It no longer works?" They looked down at him, and shook their heads. He laughed, pumping his fist. "IT NO LONGER WORKS!" he laughed hysterically and charged through the trees shouting the news to everyone (I guess everyone for some reason was camping a good ways from each other).

As each person heard the news they wept for joy. Gimli tossed his ax into the air and it got suck in a tree, but he was far to excited to care. Legolas actually took his hood off, crying thanks to the heavens. Sam danced with his blanket. Frodo hugged the Ring. Gandalf just simply remained seating and motionless, but was grinning like Cheshire Cat. Boromir stuck his sword into the ground, mumbling something about Gondor being safe.

Aragorn continued to run shouting. Every Orc he came to simply stared blankly at him as he spread the word. It wasn't until he reached the Golden Hall in Rohan that he realized he may have went a bit to far. He charged in shouting that the object had been broke and all was well. Everyone stared at him blankly.

"You're a bit early." Eomer pointed out.

"Right. Right." Aragorn slowly backed out the door. "Uh, sorry. I got a little overly zealous." He turned and charged out the door and back to the Fellowship. (Long run, huh?)

Sméagol climbed down the side of the mountain. A small object caught his eye. He cocked his head and went down to it. Reaching out, he stopped himself. It could be dangerous… ah, who cares? He took a hold of it and lifted it into the air.

The magic 8 ball glinted in the dying sunlight.

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**I know. I know. It could have been better. Once again, I'm sorry. Please review, the pink bunnies of doom will be pleased. ;P**


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